;help me

Somebody help me! Seriously i hope i make it through tennis i am dieing right now. I've gotten a little use to the conditioning but im no where near fit yet. I hope ill make it through really badly and not slow anyone down. Darn legs always give up on me ): im tired and sometimes i am unaware of my surroundings. Some days i just want to call it quit but my will power keeps me going. I always feel natious before practice. Its gets to me ya know. Oh well, lets just hope i make it till the end.So today im going to the mall w/ dianna wooh ! and i gots to get lay something hahaha. This is the one time ill probably wish this...



I hope summer goes by quick!

;tired

oh man. im pooped. sooo tired. these few weeks have been a hassle. i have so many things to do yet so little time i keep dozing off too. i feel like im packed with a million things to do and only one minute to get them done. ooohh boy im suppose to be finishing the rest of my homework right now but im too lazy ): OH and i have to finish my book about 300 more pages to go yayy! -_- and stupid carrolls making us do a dumb essay! AGHH why do they pack everything for the end i just want a relaxing week ):



i hate how you pressure me.

;agrivated

YOU ARE SUCH A CUTIE.
At first it seemed like nothing, no worries, i got this.
Then the locker & pool incidents.
It could just be a coincident, i'd like to think not.
I didn't realize it but soon enough my eyes started to follow.
I kept watching & watching.
Your reactions play over & over in my mind.
But how come you haven't been around lately.
I'm getting impatient waiting for that one meeting...

Don't toy with it's fragilness.

;epoch

I hate over thinking.
It seems like you have interest but I'd doubt.
Sucks cause i know I'm being used.
You and the others are the same.
For...get...it.



I'm gaining ):

infuriated;

OH MAN, FUCK MY LIFE. I hate this hell hole. I hate my brother i hope he freakin gets screwed over. My mother was being stupid.-__- I was fighting with david because he was being an ass and then all of a sudden she gives a lecture or "insight" on bad and good people dieing. Like what the fuck huh. UGHH i want to scream i am so enraged. I wish i would just slap my brother already but i dont want to get hit by my mother. I think i'll go on a training where i endure pain so when she hits me i won't feel anything and just stare at her so she'll finally realize SHE'S THE ONE WRONG. Life is unfair. You know what i hate the most when i open my space up and let someone in they fuck it up. For example i am nice and talk to my madre because i think she's lonely BUT she screws me over and says something dumb so i close my space up again. It makes me feel good when i stay in my room BY MY SELF after a shower and just go on the laptop and do whatever i want. I WANT TO DRIVE. I can be independent the one reason i want to drive the most is because i want my own freedom and NO i will NOT drive david that mother fucker can walk for all i care. Stupid bitch. AHHHHH! I HATE HIMMM. For one thing he thinks he so cool. WHATEVER, he has no friends and no life. On the weekends he hangs out with his cousins -_- NO FRIENDS. He talks back to me one day when he pisses me off really bad yes i know i always say this but when he makes me so mad and i cry mad tears i will slap him and say you dont have teh status to talk this way with me. and then walk away and give him the silence treatment for a longggggg time. He is so dumb too he says gosh don't yell at me when he is the on who raises his voice first ! WTH and he wastes so much electricity and everything i wish we would just make a dog house for him and make hi sleep outside in it -__- OH and i am very irritated with S she is making me mad why does this always happen i think i will stop talking to her for a little. YES, that is my plan. okay well i've expressed enough.

why is it always the good ones who get screwed over.

Ayer;

Okay, today was supperb! I had a good time s.l.i.c.k was in the hizz housee with the addition of annoying D and S -___-. So we went to buy food and there wasn't enough room in the car so little me got stuck in the trunk. I could've sworn i was suffocating. After, we went to rent movies Ghost Rider, The Midnight Meat Train, and some Indian Movie. The Indian movie was hella good. Meat Train was sick there was too much blood. We didn't even get to watch Ghost Rider. I screamed at a part in Meat Train and everyone else did too because of me lol. So S left first then K. K was kinda pissin me off. So the rest of us played games and C left. I was bored so i got cleaned up and went on the comp. OH MAN my cousin S slept over they are super annoying i want to strangle them. Coming into my room and annoying me ACK ! I will kill them seriously it was super annoying and now they are outside at one in the morning cooking my mom is even annoyed she's trying to sleep for heavens sake ! i hope they get in trouble in the morning. Dude they keep using and touching my stuff i seriously am pissed. One more thing and i will slap him FOR SURE. Dude using my quesadia roll, my soda, my restroom, wearing my things, and what makes it even worse is that they are being super loud. I wish my mom would go out slap D, tell him to shut the fuck up, and go back in her room so he knows. Fucking annoying and now tomorrow i have a bunch of dishes to wash because of them and GUESS WHAT they are soooo annoying stupid bitches who the fuck uses a fucking garlic grinder for cheese i want to slap all of them i really do. UGH, so annoying ruins my whole day. SOO im going to them mall on fridayy yayy ! I want the tang top soo badly so on monday i'll wear it to school and look soo cute (; okay i'm done for the day adios amigos!

I don't have enough patience to last for oh so long.

springbreak;

OH MY DEAR, I finally have internet back kinda (: Soo, I guess I'm finally over it ? IDK. A little bit of me says yes and a little bit of me says no. I'm stuck in the middle of a maybe and a how so? Oh wells it's spring break and I've been hanging with S and K alooooottt. I hate how he likes her it pisses me off because it's always like this ALWAYS. He always has to go with my friends ughh. Whatever, I know she doesn't like him ,but still, he hangs out with us too much now and I hate his self compliments. There not even funny, it's more like cocky. The other day he kept saying things I said and he "claims" that he said them first. Well I have two words to say to that Fuck You. I'm done with your over sensitive shit. It's my friend, my life, my phrases. I don't need you, It's more like you need me. And btw, stop complaining about you not being able to go there because I set it up for tomorrow you don't have to go i'm not making you it's up to you. The words please come never came out of my mouth, because apparently you don't even deserve my politeness. I seriously am pissed off because of this I know it seems childish but I can't help it, i'm only human. I really don't know what to do my minds a blurr. Sometimes I think she gets bored of me too but idk. I'm glad I have internet back because it keeps me occupied. I really hate to be the one to aim people up or call because it makes me feel like i'm the needy one. So i'm glad I won't talk to her for a little and i'll talk to other people. Yes, that is my plan.. Oh yes back to the first thing so at first I thought it was really sweet and nice but it wasn't like that. I really hate it when I realize myself that everything was just an illusion I made up and it's all a lie. The fact is that the truth does hurt. I wish there was someone out there who would just swoop me off my feet "/. I know I don't need anyone in my life but it feels nice being needed or wanted. Well actually I don't wangt one but sometimes I do. Oh well i'm complicated. Hopefully tomorrow willl go well and I also want this tank at pac sun that is supppperrrr cute and I was gonna buy it but I didn't. I REGRET THAT. I hope i'm going to the mall before school comes back so I could get it. Also this other tank and black shorts kee hee. I want new clothes before school comes back. Well i'm done ill update later on.

Oh The Horror.

oh boy.

I hate this. It's not fair. You are very mean to me. Why me? I think i'll stop all this nonsense now, i feel my life is being torn apart by one person so by the end of this week it's gonna be a done deal. Annoying, funny how that's what i'm described as. Well sorry but it's kinda hard to take back what you say. This is all such a waste of my time. I think its very hard to ignore someone if they keep showing up. I think i'm pathetic right now. I guess i won't like the class like i use to. It's obvious your whole image is a lie. You do things for your bennefit but who doesn't. I think this time it's really done. We'll see who regrets in the end. I want my life back. I will not be used. I don't know how to think anymore life is like a piece of shit right now. I am going to drown, dorwn in this stupid lie of mine. Convincing myself you feel the same way when it's obvious im getting over my head. So i think i shall stop lets just wait and see.



Nothing is impossible just a little long to achieve.